a-hostage-to-fortune (seul contre tous)

the apprentice...

2007-04-03T18:48:21Z

I'm loving that Sir Alan is back on our screens. I've missed you Sugar....x

pierrehawkes @ 2007-04-02T18:16:00

2007-04-02T17:23:03Z

well I'm now officially a Londoner - got an Oyster card and everything! The move went without a hitch, and it turned out to be a very good thing that the Colonel came along to help out - I wouldn't have been able to do it all without his military oragnisation and efficiency. The only bad thing was that saturday was the day the weather decided to turn warm - just as I needed to some heavy lifting etc.

Anyway, I don't start work til wednesday, so I'm fannying about til then - wandering around Notting Hill and trying to see various friends while I've got a bit of spare time! I'm mainly just ready to get going at work so its a little frustrating, but it could be worse! Anyhoo, back to the fannying around....

pierrehawkes @ 2007-03-27T09:50:00

2007-03-27T08:53:15Z

I know it would be the most frivilous thing ever, but I badly want a pair of these - how cool would they be on a night out!!

pierrehawkes @ 2007-03-25T19:51:00

2007-03-25T19:02:22Z

OK, so to stem the boredom today I have (apart from the cursory dog walking and child minding) been sorting out all the crap of mine that has accumulated in my parents attic, and that has mainly been sitting there since I left Cardiff. This includes virtually my entire CD collection, which makes me very sad. But thank god for having the whole damn thing on my computer anyway - and then some!

I've chucked a fair amount of crap (why did I decide to even keep some of it?!) and attempted to categorise the rest according to what I would like to have with me, what is essential to have with me, and what I actually will have the space to have with me. The 18 inch high Captain Jack Sparrow for example, is in a bit of limbo as far as this is concerned. I will be rescuing my remaining DVDs though.

What has been nice about it however has been being able to sort through it all and take all the postcards, letters, ticket stubs and photos that make up my significant memories, consolidate them and stick them all in one box. A box that I think I will now take with me rather than shove back into the freezing cold and perpetually dark attic. It doesn't seem to do those things justice. I mean some of it was cool (My picture in metal hammer!), some pure nostalgic (tickets from glassjaw in Bristol 2003), and other things were purely emotional and actually almost brought a tear to my eye (I won't necessarilly mention what these things were). Ultimately, finding these things has transformed the process from an arduous task into something altogether more interesting and pleasurable than I thought it would be....

...and now I'm hungry!

blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

2007-03-24T23:46:18Z

Things I've learnt over the last week or so:

Going home for four days to look after the dogs whilst your parents are on holiday and your sister is ill is INCREDIBLY boring to a point where you nearly want to top yourself. Especially if you5r parents live near Swindon.

Getting 2:30 am phone calls from your apparently drunken ex telling you they love and miss you, whilst simultaneously knowing they're in love with someone else and that nothing can happen is hard. very hard. especially if for a fleeting moment you think you might have someone come and help out with the aforementioned boredom, and then realise you won't.

That I'm going to miss Brighton a hell of a lot

But that I'm also looking forward to London a hell of a lot as well

That fate is not without a certain sense of irony

That driving in a car with no music is exactly 5% as fun as driving in a car that does have music.

I've learnt that contrary to my beliefs based on previous experience, you do actually get a bit of attention in the form of numbers etc from being a barman. Which is nice, even if it doesn't necessarilly lead anywhere meaningful.

Thats about it really. Can you tell how bored I am? I refer you to the first thing I learnt...

more updating fun...

2007-03-16T19:30:38Z

So since my last update, the following has happened. I did indeed get that job at Freud, although I was left wondering for a while when I would start, as they had to literally work out where to sit me. Anyway, I start on the 2nd of April, which is now just over 2 weeks away, and I'm extremely excited. I've been checking out places to live in London over the weekend and I've got to go up on Monday to have a drink with a girl whose place I went to see on Tuesday. It's in Notting Hill and it's a really nice little flat and she seems really cool, so hopefully that'll work out nicely...

In the meantime I'm fielding calls from people wanting to move in to this house which is a pain, as well as trying to sell things for space and or money reasons. So if anyone wants to buy either my Mac (gonna get a Macbook for space and portability) or my keyboard/sampler, then do let me know...

and thats all the news.

Freudian?

2007-03-04T15:51:04Z

OK, so I've not updated since my first day of work experience which was 3 weeks ago now, and that should make it obvious that I've been very busy with it all. The commuting really does take it out of me, and its all i can do to get home, cook some food and watch a bit of telly before going to bed. that said, I have fitted in a few drinks with people here and there, and went out with Jamie and Andy on the first weekend in London - that was a good night tainted only by the airport-esque security at Heaven. They wouldn't even let me take my gum in!

Anyway, the work experience has been a great...well, experience. Jack Daniels gigs, BAFTAs, getting to see a special preview of 300, finding out Jenny of Team Jenny fame has grandparents who are family friends and went to my parents wedding etc etc. Anyway, they asked me to stay an extra week which was good news then. Later on I found out they had a couple of positions available at my level - BUT they couldn't hire anyone til they move offices in May/June because they have no space left in the current building! So I was facing 3 months of uncertainty, and was in a quandary as to whether or not I should go looking for other jobs, or pretty much sit tight and wait for an offer from Freud whilst doing temp work somewhere...

However, as another twist in the tale, at literally 5pm on my last day, Jacquie the head of HR at Freud came to find me and told me she's been given the go ahead to hire an Account Assistant for Team Gemma! So on tuesday I have to go back up there to meet with Jacquie and Gemma to talk about it - so it's basically a done deal! I finally am gonna have a proper fucking job - and one that I actually want! amazing! It also means that I'll be moving up to London in all probability, which is simultaneously both exciting and a little scary (still a bit bewildered by the size of london). But it's gonna be awesome and I can't wait!!

in tents....

2007-02-12T22:49:05Z

So today was my first day of my work experience at Freud. Predictably I was doing pretty basic stuff on the first day (logging listings, doing press cuttings), but it was still extremely exciting stuff - These people have clients like Pepsi, Nike, Jack Daniels, Universal pictures etc etc etc. And also the BAFTAs, so it was tres busy today what with the massive amount of press coverage that obviously got - they'll also be doing PR for Hot Fuzz, Outlaws and Ghost Rider in the coming months - its big shit really, and no lies. Downstairs there is a guitar signed by the Rapture which is going to be given away in a competition as part of a Jack Daniels music promotion! I think I'm gonna have a good couple of weeks, and hopefully it could lead somewhere - I'm shadowing a fella called Ollie, and apparently he got his job after doing work experience there, as did at least one or two other people - so it's definitely possible. And hey, you don't get if you don't ask, so I'm definitely gonna test the waters as far as that goes.

Seriously though, I'd contemplated it, and I've said before that if a job required it, I would move up the London. But i've never really believed it myself until today. After today, I actually feel like it is something I could do, even though I would miss Brighton a hell of a lot. The thought of moving up to London feels less objectionable now, even if I do recognise the irony in saying so.

Also, I spent some birthday money in Topman on oxford street on some good clothes (bumped into Tara too which was odd to say the least), and it was lovely to see and hang out with Jamie and Andy again, and we have plans to do so again over the weekend, so I can't wait for that. So yeah, all in all, good day! x

weird night...

2007-02-11T03:28:59Z

OK, so I was working tonight, and it was quite good fun. There was a table of about 5 ladies, and i would have willingly married any of them - and obviously that always perks things up in the bowl. The fish bowl that is. I finished at 1 and I had been invited by Caroline to go over to Arc for her mate Maddy's birthday, so i thought I might as well. But that was a bit of a bust cos Caroline spent most of the night having deep and meaningfuls with the guy she's seeing, and Maddy (who I only know vaguely anyway) was completely fucked and couldn't put a meaningful sentence together - and well, lets face it, all her mates were kids - so enough of that. Oh and apparently the guy Caroline is seeing put SOMA on in Kingston one time - so small world as well....

Things kind of perked up when I met this girl Amy. Firstly, i want her to have my babies. Secondly, from the brief chat I had with her, she seemed really cool. And also, it turned out she's been on Shipwrecked. I've missed a couple of episodes, but apparently she's already been on. Of course I'm mortally jealous of that, but its fucking cool. Apparently she recognised me from the fish bowl - a slightly less impressive claim to fame, but hey, she recognised me!

Anyhoo, all elements together = a weird night, but fun nonetheless. Must go to more indie nights, and I need to cultivate a good partner for this!

pierrehawkes @ 2007-02-10T18:42:00

2007-02-10T18:42:56Z

despite not really liking it much at first, the new Bloc Party album has grown on me a lot. It definitely works a lot better through a pair of headphones than it does over a stereo (my stereo anyway).

pierrehawkes @ 2007-02-06T21:56:00

2007-02-06T21:58:48Z

Anyway, moving on - got work experience for two weeks starting on Monday in London at Freud Communications. It should be really good, and having it on my CV will help me no end. Plus it'll be nice cos it'll give me the opportunity to see some people in London who i haven't seen for a while...AND i think I'll go clothes shopping up there with my birthday money from the olds. So, bar valentines day, which promises to be shit, it should be a good couple of weeks.....x

pierrehawkes @ 2007-02-03T13:34:00

2007-02-03T13:35:44Z

well...a day of two halves. last night was actually a brilliant night. i have stories about Jimmy somerville that i can't divulge here. but unfortunately i've found out this morning that i didn't get the job at Midnight. And i'm fucking gutted about it. Not a nice cap on the birthday proceedings to be honest. But shit, i've just got to soldier on...

preparations...

2007-01-29T19:05:49Z

New suit today. Two actually, courtesy of the BOGOF. Looks sharp even if i do say so myself. Booked myself in for a haircut tomorrow morning followed by hypnotherapy in the afternoon. Then on wednesday it's research on Midnight, followed by some interview practice with Jeff in the afternoon. Then meet the bro for gym, followed by pub meal in front of the 2nd leg carling cup tie between Spurs and Arsenal. Couldn't imagine a better preparation routine. It's in the bag.

pitiful....

2007-01-27T02:59:21Z

...i seem to write more entries when I'm drunk than when I'm sober these days. There are pros and cons to this habit - the main pro being that I'm probably more truthful and forthright with my musings than I might otherwise be. The main con being...well, the same thing I think.

I'm still extremely happy about my interview at Midnight and I'm convinced I'm going to get the job. My mum suggested I get hypnotherapy to help me with the interview - I was sceptical at first, but it can't do any harm and I'd prefer to go into the interview knowing I'd done everything I possibly could to make sure I got the job. So as well as some interview coaching from Jeff at Hove college, on tuesday I will be hypnotised by a woman called Helen Brooks in the name of making me more relaxed and self-assured come interview time on Thursday.

The importance of this interview is something that I've definitely acknowledged, but that I've not really actively thought about. When you think of PR agencies in Brighton (or indeed anywhere south of london) you think of Midnight. This is big. And if i get it, it's the REAL beginning of life after Wales. Everything from last May til now has been merely a precursor to something bigger, and I really feel now that I'm on the cusp of bringing it all together. It's going to happen for me now, one way or another. Once I've got the job, my life can be settled and I'm certain that everything else can fall into place the way it should be. Sure, I'll still have a lot of work to do and I won't be able to relax, but I'll have that huge centre piece of the puzzle in place, and soon all the other pieces will fall into place around it. Of that much I'm sure. I have no illusions about how difficult it will be to earn that centre piece, but if they want to interview me, that must mean they think I can do the job, and thats half the battle won. I can only talk myself out of the job - I can't talk myself into it.

I feel like I've rambled a bit there, but I really do have this great optimistic feeling. Even if i don't get this job (thats not gonna happen anyway) I have other opportunities that have arisen all of a sudden. It's like all this is converging on something massively positive for me. And once its done, who knows what life'll be like for me. Who knows what things will change, which relationships will alter, how I'll grow so to speak. I mean, until the real possibility of a proper job has come along, I hadn't realised quite how much my life was still on some kind of hiatus. I realise now that i couldn't possibly have commited to, or really engaged in, anything else of any import when such a massive and significant portion of my life (my career and my entire future, to be specific) was undecided, hanging in the balance. Once that has been set in stone as it were, then I can focus on other things. Thankfully (in retrospect) i haven't been able to pursue the whole band thing, but I have pursued other things (relationships) where I could never have given them the full attention they deserved. I feel like once I get this job, I will be able to do that though - which will be great....

Anyhoo, enough ramblings. tonight was Rob and twigg's night at the Lo Lounge, and despite a distinct lack of punters, it was fun enough and a good time was had by all. Tomorrow - research about Midnight for the interview, gym with the bro, and more work. Sweet...........x

....

2007-01-26T02:54:55Z

Good grief, after all that hype, that Skins programme was pretty bollocks. I wondered for a while whether i was just too old for it by now, but no, it's just crap - plain and simple. I just can't believe that guy from About a boy as a smooth talking, drug taking womaniser. It just doesn't wash with me.

I need to re-watch old episodes of Shameless i reckon.

things happen at midnight...

2007-01-25T17:16:56Z

So so, last weekend was the birthday party - it was a great night. I'll have some pictures soon. Basically a lot of people turned up which was cool, the Quadrant was cool and then we moved onto Audio (where bonobo was playing) and had a really good time. Then back to my bros for smoking etc til about 6am. Lots of silly hats, lots of people getting fucked - good times all round.

Last week i also sent of an application to Midnight communications in Brighton for a 'rare' trainee position that was available. I sent them a fake press release, as if it were from them, announcing that I had got the job - and it must have worked because they called today to offer me an interview - i'm SUPER happy about that and I've decided I WILL get this job. Plus I've decided not to spell any more words using all capitals. Also even if I don't get it, I should be sorted with work experience at Freud communications in London for a couple of weeks or so....

Erm, I guess thats about all the news really. I did speak to Jo properly the other night for the first time since we split up, and it was nice. It'll be a really wierd situation with us for a while I think. I always seem to end up with wierd situations like that.

Anyhoo, time to fuck off and do something useful....x

bullet points...

2007-01-16T03:43:11Z

...because I don't feel like i can form more than one coherent sentence right now. and that was it.

- can't sleep
- had a problem with that lately. Probably cos I've been sleeping all day
- need a routine
- didn't get the job
- got about 7 more to apply for tomorrow
- happy days
- need to make bro's birthday present
- god i want to see her
- lack of anything to do at 3:30am means too much time to think
- lost my faith in metal? not yet, but i might
- no idea what I want for my birthday
- started writing down my dreams. they might be inspirational. or not
- parents booked a holiday for august
- crippling guilt over milking them dry
- hoping one dream involves design for time machine
- age 6, be less of a fussy eater. put on some weight
- age 12, don't send a letter to my old friend and get in trouble
- age 17, have courage of convictions over career choice. don't do fucking psychology
- ages 20 til 23, don't be such an idiot with girls and already have a good job
- need more new music
- need to watch more 24
- although I also need to do more work
- had lots of sex dreams lately
- don't think there's any hidden meaning to it
- decided I will kill myself if i become senile in old age
- epitaph will read 'aren't you glad I saved you a load of money!'
- will stipulate in will that I must be cremated and have ashes fired out of a cannon by Chris Morris
- believe he would do it
- will probably have sex dream about Eva Green tonight.
- look forward to it almost as much as sleep itself....

anticlimax...

2007-01-14T21:55:32Z

still waiting to hear about that job at Vivid design. He said it would be over the weekend but it could take longer. Even so, I was hoping for it to have come yesterday or today and I've been watching my phone like a hawk, waiting for it to ring. Here's hoping I find out about it tomorrow anyway.

Birthday stuff is shaping up - quite a few people should be comingand it should be a really good night. I've even got my hat sorted - should be good...

Also my parents have talked about taking us (as in me, simon and becky) on holiday to the canary islands in the summer. It's nice cos I've not been on a proper one for ages and it'll be free and what have you. But it's also slightly depressing cos they're asking me about whether I want to bring someone and well, I have no-one to bring. And I know with no-one there with me it'll be a case of third-wheelage with Simon and Becky, so it could be slightly crap on that front...

anyhoo, back to the crap tv...x

come down...

2007-01-09T23:24:14Z

...still feel like I'm on one. I think I'm still just tired from the new year, and I'm not sure I should have gone out at all last night - it was a bit wierd.

Anyhoo, got a job interview tomorrow at a design place in Brighton, so fingers crossed for that! Also just about sorted out the joint b-day celebrations with the bro-ski.

oh yeah, and I've only JUST got into 24 - how great is it!!

This needs to be documented...

2007-01-04T20:23:01Z

Well I feel like I need to get this stuff down, because this new year really has been a once in a lifetime experience, and no doubt about it.

So New year's eve I was working at the Fish Bowl. This was ok however as I'd managed to draw a cushty 7 - 1am shift which was nigh on perfect. We had a James Bond theme (2007/007, geddit?), so I donned the 30 year old Dj (used to be my dad's) and bonded up. There were some superb bond girls, including Beatrice as Miss Moneypenny, as well as a few Russian generals and what have you. I discovered that vodka martinis are fucking lethal, and now I wonder how Bond keeps the composure necessary to save the world so often when he must be out of his tree from drinking those things. Anyway, everyone was comfortably fucked, staff and punters alike, and ultimately it was like going to a really good, well stocked party and just occaisonally having to serve a few drinks or collect a few glasses - winner! So I finished at 1 and stayed on til about 6 with everyone from work and a few friends before going home to get my head down before the day ahead....and hell yes did I need it...

Because Fatboy Slim was the real story here. Got down to the Pier at about 3:30ish to meet my brother, becky et al, and then on into the freshly enclosed Madeira drive. It was probably less impressive to all those who had been to either of the two previous Big Beach Boutiques (this being a third the number of people than the first one alone), but even so, it was pretty immense to me. The Cuban Brothers (actually from Scotland) were so-so, and then David Guetta came on. He was fucking awful and not long after he arrived, it began to piss it down. Hard. It was like mother nature was trying to tell him something. Anyhoo, he was mixing at the front of the stage and the rain was coming straight at him and after about half an hour all his cd players (yeah exactly) were fucked and he thankfully exited stage left. Thing is, by this point, everyone was completely soaked and wondering what the fuck they were doing. i saw a few people leave but most people were very British about it and just soldiered on - it was worth it. When Fatboy came on to the tune of 'I Love this city', with "Brighton" edited in to replace Detroit, it just took everyones mind off it, and then for 2 hours there were 20,000+ people, as completely fucked as they were wet, dancing like soggy maniacs on New years day. It was a surreal situation, make no mistake about it. Everything about it was just wierd. But we had the best time and I'm so glad i did it. We then walked back to Si's house, changed clothes (it was all worth it for the feeling of a dry t-shirt afterwards), proceeded to get more fucked than I've ever been in my life (no joke) and played Articulate and Charades til 6am again. I can't explain how much fun that was without it sounding like pure crap, but anyone who's ever been as fucked as we were that night on any of the substances we used will know exactly what I mean. Basically, shouting 'MEAN GIRLS' and 'MARCH OF THE PENGUINS' at every single charade anyone did somehow became a joke that didn't wear thin despite being used at least once a minute for 8 hours or more. Enough said.

Anyhoo, just about fully recovered, so here are some choice pictures from Fatboy....

pierrehawkes @ 2006-12-29T19:20:00

2006-12-29T18:20:44Z

It's been bloody ages since I updated. And that's a sentence I've noticed that probably 75% of all livejournal entries ever begin with, so i apologise for being predictable! I'm not sure quite why i lapsed. Mainly because day to day events have been pretty monotonous I suppose....

So in the intervening period between my last entry and today, a fair amount of things have happened. I finished my course completely and took the exams and what have you at the end. I got distinctions for the graphic and web design courses, and I'm just waiting on the results for the other modules which are due anytime soon...so fingers crossed. I've been applying for jobs left right and centre with only a moderate amount of success so far - one interview for a work experience placement that I didn't get. But in the grand scheme of things it's still early days and I've got a couple of irons in the fire job wise that I'll find out about after new year's, so it's all good.

another interesting bit of college related news is that I found out one of the girls who did my course is also somewhat of a porn star in her spare time - and not just any pornstar - she does bondage and even.....SCAT PORN!! I was almost sick when i found out about that (it's porn with poo for the uninitiated).

I'm still missing the old house quite a bit but I've seen Ben a fair amount, and I managed a trip to see the gays for a proper night out in London - Si also joined in on that and it was really good fun. i got extremely battered and apparently chatted to someone who randomly knew Sam but I had no recollection of that at all! The gays themselves are off in Australia right now and have hooked up with georgia, so I'm looking forward to seeing them when i get back - that's something that'll probably happen at the planned joint birthday party/event my brother and I are planning to have. No idea what the full plan for that is but hopefully it should be a really good night. I have no idea what to ask for for my birthday - maybe singing lessons (then I can really go all out to join/start a band down here) or maybe a jonah matranga personalised mix tape thing? I just don't know....

I think the main news is that after going to see Jo, we got back together, and I was really happy about it. Long story short, it's not really worked out for various reasons. Basically it just wasn't the right time for us and our respective situations didn't really allow for any kind of proper relationship. Anyway it was a sort of mutual decision not to go on with that, and we're remaining friends despite it - I'm really upset about it for sure but its for the best at the end of the day. And who knows what the future holds anyway.

Anyhoo, christmas was ok - it was spent in the arse end of nowhere with no phone signal but it wasn't too bad in the end. Got back yesterday and straight into 4 days of work, including new years eve. but that's ok, cos it should be fun anyway - the fish bowl is having a James Bond theme night. And I've got Fatboy Slim on the beach the next day so all in all i think it should be a really good couple of days!

Thats about all of it unless I think of something else, but here's some shit I made. First is the umbrella i did for my brother because his christmas present didn't arrive off ebay, and then it's a tee i made for myself which everyone seems to really like....

pierrehawkes @ 2006-10-04T00:10:00

2006-10-03T23:15:27Z

Well things are going on here...last week of college - handed in the graphic design project and I'm pretty much done with the website, so all is good there. I got distinctions in the mock advertising and marketing exams too so feeling alright about those! Hopefull Graham isn't just a lenient marker though....

This weekend I should be back in london for one or two reasons, and I'm looking forward to it immensely for all of them - I literally cannot wait. I'm sitting here now typing this, wishing it were sunday already...I wouldn't want to say anything too early on in case I jinx it, but fuck i'm excited.....

I also saw Ben and Georgia for the first time in two weeks tonight which was lovely - although it brought it back to me how much I miss those guys... Anyhoo, thats about it, time for sleep methinks. More musings, and hopefully meaningful and exciting ones after the weekend!

xxx

oh shit i forgot...

2006-09-25T20:17:55Z

I never posted a picture of the finished phoenix. this is really bad lighting but you get the idea just about. it's been in the window of temple tatu! Ade is also a legend...

tat....

2006-09-25T20:08:36Z

it's quite hard to get a good angle on this, but I've tried....steve byrne - what a legend!

pierrehawkes @ 2006-09-14T12:52:00

2006-09-14T11:57:26Z

oh I've found a new house - its only a couple of minutes away from my current house which is cool, and the people seem really nice. Plus its on a rolling contract so its not too much of a bother to move out a few months down the line if i need to...sorted. And of course once i'm in i'll have a full time net connection again so i can do things like post pictures of my new tat on here and stoof.

No other news, but tonight Jamie, Georgia, Ben, Andy and I go out for out last night out together as housemates...it's gonna be fun, but very sad....x